The Name of This Blog is Secret

Chocolate Math

Elaine, a librarian, sent me this chocolate math. 

The chocolate - it isn't just heaven on earth, it can also figure out how old you are. Give it a try.

YOUR AGE BY CHOCOLATE MATH 
 

Don't tell me 
your age; you'd probably lie anyway-but the Hershey Man will know! 

YOUR AGE BY CHOCOLATE 
MATH

This is 
pretty neat.

Work this out

as you read ..
Be sure you 
don't read the bottom until you've worked it out!

1. First of 
all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have 
chocolate (more than once but less than 10)

2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)

3. Add 5

4. Multiply 
it by 50 -- I'll wait while you get the calculator 

5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1759 ...
If you haven't, 

add 1758..

6... Now 
subtract the four digit year that you were born.

You should have a 

three digit number 

The 
first digit of this was your original number
(i.e., how many times 
you want to have chocolate each week).

The 
next two numbers are

 

YOUR AGE! 

(Oh YES, it is!!!)

 

2009 IS THE ONLY YEAR

  IT WILL EVER WORK, 

SO  SPREAD  IT  AROUND

 WHILE  IT  LASTS. 

Chocolate 

Calculator.

NEW REVIEW REVEALS BLOGGER'S NEFARIOUS PLOT

Susan of Bloggin' Bout Books is back with a review of my newest book and the review is absolutely shocking!  Not to mention infuriating!  And how about outlandish!  I cannot even bring myself to repeat the awful accusation she makes. She actually thinks that I am secretly recruiting members for the Mid--...No, I can't say it. I can only imagine that she's engaged in a treacherous sort of double-double-think or reverse-reverse psychology. Is it she who is the agent of evil? You'll have to read the review yourself. Here is how it begins:

NEW BOOK REVEALS PB'S NEFARIOUS PLOT

I have a bone to pick with Pseudonymous Bosch, the mysterious author of The Name of This Book Is Secret and If You're Reading This, It's Too Late. See, he says he doesn't want us to read his books. He warns readers away with cautionary titles and cryptic blog warnings about imposters and nefarious schemes now afoot. This is all well and good (after all, he does tell a dangerous story, which, for our own safety, we really should ignore), but then P.B. goes and does the unthinkable: He writes a story about chocolate. Sweet, creamy, delcious chocolate. As if anyone could resist an entire book about this delectable confection... 

The rest of the nefarious review is here.

SALON DU CHOCOLAT - PARIS CHOCOLATE SHOW

MORE CHOCOLATE FASHION PHOTOS HERE!

A CHOCOLATE BOOK

What's better than a book about chocolate?  A book dipped in chocolate!  A big thank you to Becky and to Books & Books in Coral Gables!

SPEAKING OF WILLIE WONKA...

How about CHOCOLATE GUM?

IT'S GOOD FOR YOU AFTER ALL...!

According to THE NEW YORK TIMES chocolate is now officially a health food! Too bad that doesn't mean MY BOOK is good for you, too...

CHOCOLATE AND CHEESE - TOGETHER AT LAST!

One of my team of secret spies sent me this picture, taken this morning at Artisan Cheese Gallery in Studio City, CA.  Looks like a perfect breakfast.  St Agur, a creamy French blue, on top of a fantastic, so dark and dry it almost crunches, artisan-made Venezuelan chocolate.  Yummmmmm.

BREAKFAST OF THE DAY: CHOCOLATE BACON!

As soon I saw (and tasted!) my first bar of bacon chocolate, Mo's Milk Chocolate Bacon Bar from Vosges, I guessed (hoped) it would be only a matter of time before somebody came up with chocolate bacon. And here it is! Pig Candy from Roni-Sue's Chocolates  Bacon strips dipped in milk chocolate or, as you know I prefer, dark chocolate. They also have Bacon Buttercrunch and Bacon Lollipops.

CHOCOLATE-POOPING MONKEYS!?

I will tell you two secrets about the cover of my new book, THIS BOOK IS NOT GOOD FOR YOU.  One is that the title is a big understatement.  I wanted to call it THIS BOOK IS ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE FOR YOU, which is a bit closer to the truth, given all the dangerous sweets the book contains, but the publishers insisted on calling it THIS BOOK IS GOOD FOR YOU.  (Apparently, they thought the idea was to get people to buy the book rather than to keep people away.)  I was only able to slip the NOT in there at the last minute when they weren't looking... The other secret is that the 100 "chocolate producing" monkeys mentioned on the back of the book are actually "chocolate-pooping" monkeys. (I can't imagine why the publishers thought chocolate poop was a turn-off!)  But don't tell anyone I told you... Shh!!! PB

THIS BOOK IS NOT GOOD FOR YOU but it is AVAILABLE NOW:

"IN STOCK"?!?