The Name of This Blog is Secret

Broken Escalator

I know that when escalators break they "turn into stairs" ... but that first step still feels really weird. 

Right now, the Impostor is at the Family Festival of Books in Chino, CA

& I am posting to the internet from a bunker, 3 miles beneath the surface of the earth. 

A curious email from a reader:

I received this curious email not too long ago. The plot thickens. Read on at your own peril! -PB

Dear Mr. Bosch,

At 12:00 pm last night someone knocked on our front door.

My brothers were asleep, and I was watching T.V. while my parents were out on a date.

I usually hate answering doors at night, but but I did anyway, and to my surprise I did not find a killer, but a package that read as follows:

 

                 SEND: The Booger Collector

 

SEND FIRST TO: Xxxxxxx XxxxxxxxXxxxx

 

XxxxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxxXxxxx Postal Service

 

Just below this was a note that read:

Dear Mr. Xxxxxxx XxxxxxxxXxxxx--

To avoid any suspision from Midnight Sun Memebers, we need you to scan this file onto your computer and send it to Pxxxxxxxxxxx Bxxxx (aka, the The Booger Collector).

     We know you are a "fan," as they call them now days.

     Yours who is hopeless--

    

     Penimus Papertin

 

I already knew that you had the cover-up as a booger collector, so I amediently went into the computer room and scanned the papers in the package.

 

     Good Luck! :

 Dear Mr. Bosch-

 

I have had the unlucky luck of running [no doubt from my enemies] near the Xxxx Mall.

     This place I described was the area that the Skelton Sisters' [those horrid, and purposely-un-fed, Romi and Montana!!!!!] shopping place for the day.

 

I wouldn't have recognized them if these words hadn't been sewn onto the bathrobe and t-shirt they were wearing:

 

  THE MIDNIGHT SUN spa

     [On Montana]

 

        And

 

  THE MIDNIGHT SUN: "AHH, TO BE YOUNG AGAIN..."

     [On Romi]

I followed them down Xxxxxx Drive and was able to get a quick photograph, to send to you, for the research you compose.

 

You will notice that each are wearing BLACK WIGS and DARK SUN GLASSES as a "public disguise" to escape from paparazzi. I also noticed with horror that they were both wearing white silk gloves.  Romi was wearing the rare pair that had once belonged to Queen Mary [a.k.a. "Bloody Mary"], and Montana was wearing the kind that Ms. Mauvais had put away--200 years earlier!

I was truly shocked to see them--I had made it my second ambition [besides helping people escape from the Midnight Sun--Oh yes, I am not who the readers know as "Owen"] to stay as far away from them as possible.

 But then a few yards away I saw a boy who wore a t-shirt bearing the words:

 

 

Alien Earache

 

We rock so hard

They hear us on Mars!

 

 

I was shocked at such a statement!

 

I then noticed something else:

 

A girl of about 11 with elf-like ears, and a boy, also 11, which looked like he had been born and raised in an electric outlet--

--uh-oh... someone is trying to force their way into my apartment!

 

Until later, Psuedonymous...if I survive.

 

Yours HOPELESSLY--

 

        Penimus Papertin

 

 

VOYA - it sounds like Spanish, it reads my books

This is a review of THIS BOOK IS NOT GOOD FOR YOU that comes from VOYA, Voice of Youth Advocates. 

It is too kind, I suggest you not read it, as it may compel you to then read the book.

VOYA: February 2010

This Book Is Not Good for You

By Pseudonymous Bosch

Cass and Max-Ernest are at it again, working together to solve a thrilling yet sometimes dangerous puzzle against the Midnight Sun. The duo, their friend Yo-Yoji, and Cass’s mother are invited to a restaurant, El Castillo de la Noche, where Cass’s mom is kidnapped by none other than Midnight Sun members. Through good old-fashioned research, Cass, Max-Ernest, and Yo-Yoji find themselves at a zoo with a secret entrance to a chocolate plantation where Cass’ mother is being held prisoner and where the Midnight Sun has taken up quarters and a new and tasty project.

        Subplots including Cass finding the box she supposedly arrived in as a baby at her two grandfather’s store to Max-Ernest’s parents getting along better help keep the story moving. Many references to chocolate, including the coveted tuning fork that can turn any food or drink into what the owner wishes, will keep readers hungry for more. As in the previous two companion books, Lemony Snickett-like humor and decoding puzzles through research and handy gizmos like the Professor Layton video-game series will not disappoint loyal readers. Chocolate games and recipes are given in the back of the book, providing great ideas for library programs. Twists and turns in the ordering of the chapters give the author time for commentary and a choose-your-own adventure for readers who will still be on the edges of their seats at the end for the Secret to be revealed.

IMPOSTOR APPEARANCE: CHINO, CA - FEB 28, 2010

My network of informers just notified me that the Impostor will be appearing at the 4th Annual Family Festival of Books on Sunday, February 28th, 2010. 

The Impostor is acting very bold - he is going to be doing a signing at 1:00PM.

What a delightful and colorful poster - clearly the Impostor will stop at nothing!

 

Beware - Chino, California!

Short Story Contest!

A contest is just as good a reason as any to try your hand at writing. It's probably better than a lot of other reasons. 

This contest comes from www.ellenpotter.com/

It's for kids ages 9 - 13. Check out her page and the contest.

View contest details here - at Ellen's blog  

Pseudonymous Bosch

The first name in fake.

Once again - you are what you eat?

This was sent to me by Nabu - a rather strange sighting of the book. Here is his note:

This makes me happy! Someone has some sense! Eating the book! That's the solution! Protect the world, eat the book!

How strange! I mean - the cover art is very attractive, and looks quite delicious. I'd suggest a "Warning - do not eat!" label, but the "do not read" labels are already being overlooked.   

Fool-proof Advice for Any Writer

Many dear readers have been writing to me, asking how they can make the jump from dear reader to dear writer. I feel that I should share some advice with everyone.

Buy lotto tickets. If you don't win, you still have a little piece of paper. You can use that little slip of paper as a bookmark, and/or to take notes on. Reading and writing is always good advice for any fledgling author. 

And if you win big, don't forget about Pseudonymous!

 

Today's hint - You are what you eat

There is so much speculation as to who I am. But old wives and wiki know - you are what you eat. Here is what wiki.answers.com tells you. 

  

wiki answers - what is PB's fave food?